It's very normal to have highs and lows of emotions throughout our lives. So at what point do you say this is a real mental health problem as opposed to just normal variation of everyday life? I think there were a few things we can think about with young people. So the first thing is, is the young person able to carry on their normal life in terms of going to school, sleeping at night, eating food, seeing their friends, exercising? Are they able to have a rounded life in that way? If that has gone wrong, and if that has gone wrong for a significant period of time, that would be an indicator that there may be a more serious problem than just normal variation. There are some young people who need to do something in order to feel OK. And this often shows up in something like an obsessive compulsive thought. If I touch something on the left, I have to touch something on the right, or I have to touch something seven times in order for it to be OK. That is not a helpful thought process. We all have it to some degree. That's the thing about mental health. We all sometimes have big worries. We all sometimes feel really low. But if a young person is having to do this over an extended period of time, that would be a cause for concern. And it's really hard to see your child in distress. So a parent may allow their child, for example, to sleep in their bed at night because they don't want their child to worry. Now, if that is happening-- let's say a 12-year-old is still having to sleep with their parent at night. That is not a helpful accommodation, actually. What you need to do is to think, are the other things I'm having to do with my young person or with my child that's not helpful for them? That gives them short term relief, but actually, in the long term is keeping them in a pattern of dependency on me that's not age appropriate. I think one of the things that's really important is to try to have a culture at home of talking about emotions and talking about difficult things. So emotional literacy-- and that's talking about emotions for yourself and modelling to your child, this is what you do when you feel sad, when you feel anxious, is a really important first step. You really want to give your child the message that I can manage it. I can handle it. Come and tell me about the tough stuff. I want to hear about it. So it's not only about stopping and giving time and space. But it's about listening with your eyes, about really showing interest. It's about asking little follow up questions. It's about sometimes even paraphrasing, saying, I think what you're saying to me is such and such. With some children actually, what we would really recommend is saying-- if you have a child who's really struggling to open up is to say to them, we're going to have some special time, you and me, every single day. It may only be 10 or 15 minutes, depending on what you can manage. And you put everything else aside. And it's completely on their terms. And you might do something fun with them. But it's all about really leaving space for them. And then they begin to trust that space. And they begin to bring things to you. And you can build that trust over time. One of the things that gets in the way for parents, actually, is that when their child tells them something, if it's problematic or they don't agree with what their child is saying, what we're always tempted to do is to put them right. Now, when a young person is bringing some information to you, even if it's difficult to hear-- something like, I hate my friend. She left me out at the school. I don't want to invite her to the party anymore. What we want to do is to say, don't be silly or she's your best friend. Of course you want her to come. We might want to say, well, what part did you play in it? That's not the time. The time is that that's the time to do the empathy, to do the validating. Wow, it sounds like your friend really upset you today. Tell me a little more about what was happening. Now, through those conversations, over time, you are building and strengthening relationships with your child, also managing the conflict. Do you know something like 70% of our conversations with other people are conflictual? Well, the first thing I would say, there's some amazing resources out there for parents. So there are really good books now for parents to understand what's going on for their child. And let's say your child is presenting with some anxiety. There are some really important things that parents should do and shouldn't do in that situation. And it's not always intuitive. So I would first of all make sure you do some reading yourself. There are also some fantastic books to read with children. So there's actually a series of books by Dawn Huebner called What to Do When, What to Do when Your Brain Gets Stuck, What to Do When You Dread Your Bed. One's about anger. One's about anxiety. They're really good to share with your child so you can think together and really help them and you to understand what's going on for them. So that would be the first step. If the problem is ongoing despite your efforts to help them and over a period of a few weeks, then that would be the time to go to your GP-- would be your first port of call. And your GP can refer into a CAMHS service, child and adolescent mental health service. Although the waiting lists are quite long at the moment. But if your child is really stuck, you are feeling really stuck despite what you've tried to do together, things are not shifting, then that's absolutely your port of call. There are some really amazing online resources, actually, including this one, other ones like Young Minds, and also, some apps that you can use. There's an app called Headspace, there's one called Calm, which actually are really good. And if you could use them together with your child. Or even your child, as a teenager, they might want to do it by themselves. Those can be a really helpful thing to do while you're waiting to get some professional support. If you do have a child who is struggling to get into school, what we know from the evidence is that the most important thing is that they keep going. Teachers are there to support you. You need to work as a team with the teacher to think about what you can both do to support the child. Teachers will always be very helpful in getting kids back into school. But also, it's helpful if you're struggling with something at home, to ask the teacher, do they struggle in the same way? To see, is this behaviour context dependent? And what's helpful for the child? And what's unhelpful for the child? Keeping a diary is a really helpful thing to do because when you are sitting in front of a professional and they ask you a question about how often do they have a meltdown, how many hours a night are they sleeping, it's really hard to remember, particularly when you're feeling stressed yourself, which you're likely to be if your child is really struggling. So keeping a diary is really an excellent idea. We do know that there are some neurodevelopmental differences in young people, in all of us, in fact. That can mean that a child struggles in a very particular way. So for example, a child on the autism spectrum will struggle with social situations. They may need things to be done in a certain way. And they can be really pedalling hard underneath to try and do what's expected of them. So that's an important area to consider maybe as a parent to read up a little bit about, to talk to the child's teachers about it, who will have a broader experience of other children. Parenting is the most wonderful thing we do. I think it's incredibly rewarding and also, one of the hardest things we ever do. Try to avoid the black and white thinking. You are being the best parent you can be. No parent is giving their child a perfect experience-- absolutely nobody is. In fact, there was one statistic that suggests you've got to get it right 30% of the time in order to have a secure child. So the first thing is to remember, there are going to be highs and lows. There are going to be ups and downs. There's going to be times when you're not sure what to do. Try and be kind to yourself. Remember, it's one of the hardest jobs in the world. Remember, your child does not have to be happy all the time. They're going to have highs and lows. And you're doing the best you can do. Have a community around you. Make sure you get downtime and look after your own being, because you need to put your armbands on first before you're able to help your child.