All parents worry about their children. It's the price we pay for loving them, and all children encounter problems or difficulties as they grow, which can sometimes make them anxious or insecure. But what should you do if you feel your child is really unhappy or is struggling with their learning or social development? Well, there is help available from the school, from your GP, and from experts in child development. These films are intended to help you understand that process. You might start by having conversations with your child to try to find out what is wrong. Clinical psychologist Doctor Bettina Hohnen has written a book, How To Have Incredible Conversations With Your Child, that explores what you can do at home and when you should involve others. I think one of the things that's really important is to try to have a culture at home of talking about emotions and talking about difficult things. So it's not only about stopping and giving time and space, but it's about listening with your eyes, about really showing interest. It's about asking little follow-up questions. It's about sometimes even paraphrasing, saying, I think what you're saying to me is such and such. With some children, actually, what we would really recommend if you have a child who's really struggling to open up is to say to them, we're going to have some special time, you and me, every single day. It may only be 10 or 15 minutes, depending on what you can manage, and you put everything else aside, and it's completely on their terms. And you might do something fun with them, but it's all about really leaving space for them. And then they begin to trust that space, and they begin to bring things to you. And you can build that trust over time. Good communication is always important, and Doctor Hohnen reminds us that this can take both time and effort. Children are very aware of when you're too busy to make time for them, but you need to build trust to find out what's going on with them. If you're not sure how to go about this, there is a lot of advice available. Well, the first thing I would say is there's some amazing resources out there for parents. So there are really good books now for parents to understand what's going on for their child. And let's say your child is presenting with some anxiety. There are some really important things that parents should do and shouldn't do in that situation, and it's not always intuitive. So I would, first of all, make sure you do some reading yourself. There are also some fantastic books to read with children. So there's actually a series of books by Dawn Huebner called What To Do When Your Brain Gets Stuck, What To Do When You Dread Your Bed. One's about anger. One's about anxiety. They're really good to share with your child, so you can think together and really help them and you to understand what's going on for them. So that would be the first step. A good first step, I'd say. But after these conversations, you might still decide that you need outside help. Where should you start? My experience as a head teacher has led me to believe that school professionals can be very helpful. So I would recommend you speak to your child's teacher. Teachers are there to support you. You need to work as a team with the teacher to think about what you can both do to support the child. Teachers will always be very helpful in getting kids back into school, but also it's helpful if you're struggling with something at home to ask the teacher. Do they struggle in the same way? To see is this behaviour context dependent and what's helpful for the child and what's unhelpful for the child. Teachers can observe your child's behaviour in the classroom, but they don't always know what's going on at home. It can be helpful to give them as much information as possible. Keeping a diary is a really helpful thing to do because when you are sitting in front of a professional, and they ask you a question about how often do they have a meltdown, how many hours a night are they sleeping, it's really hard to remember, particularly when you're feeling stressed yourself, which you're likely to be if your child is really struggling. So keeping a diary is really an excellent idea. We do know that there are some neurodevelopmental differences in young people, in all of us, in fact. That can mean that a child struggles in a very particular way. So, for example, a child on the autism spectrum will struggle with social situations. They may need things to be done in a certain way, and they can be really pedalling hard underneath to try and do what's expected of them. So that's an important area to consider, maybe as a parent, to read up a little bit about, to talk to your teachers about it, the child's teachers about it, who will have a broader experience of other children. Remember that you're the parent. So do trust your instincts. It's better to share worries you may have rather than keeping your concerns to yourself. But remember to look after yourself too. Try and be kind to yourself. Remember, it's one of the hardest jobs in the world. Remember, your child does not have to be happy all the time. They're going to have highs and lows, and you're doing the best you can do. I think that's great advice. In the next film, we'll look at how to work with your child's school and what support you can expect them to provide. Thanks for watching.