[MUSIC PLAYING] The discovery that your child is self-harming can be hugely distressing, hard to process, and it can be hard to know how to react to. In recent years, self-harm has been on the rise. Current figures suggest it's around one in 12 children. So you're not alone. Self-harm is a coping mechanism and extremely unhealthy one. But sometimes the only way someone feels they can cope with difficult thoughts, feelings, and experiences. Lots of young people go through this and come out the other side with better strategies for dealing with things. Listen here for some tips from experts and parents on how to support a child who's self-harming. Tip number one, keep an eye out for the signs of self-harm. Warning signs that a child is self-harming include unexplained cuts, bruises, burns, or bald patches. Keeping arms or legs covered up even in hot weather. Blaming themselves for problems. Bloody tissues in the bin. Low mood or angry outbursts. Be vigilant and follow the next steps if you suspect self-harm. Tip number two, find a support network for yourself. If you discover your child is self-harming, it can be a huge shock. It's important to find your own support network to get through the next little while. Spend some time researching self-harm, understanding the facts so you can de-escalate your own anxiety. Remember, a child who's self-harming is dealing with intense thoughts and feelings and hurting themselves may feel like the only way they have to cope. The cutting or other self-harm behaviour bring short term relief. But as the feeling builds again, they need to cut again. And so the cycle continues. They are often intensely confused and ashamed and they need help. They're not doing it to look for attention or to upset you. Tip number three, remain calm and remain present. Nothing will be solved overnight. While it's a huge ask, it's important to remain calm and remain present as you talk it through with them and don't overreact. You will have tonnes of questions, but take it one step at a time as you work out a plan together. You may be tempted to run around the house hiding sharp objects, but research shows that overpolicing can actually increase the risk of self-harm. Ensure they're safe. But if you panic and overreact, you risk alienating them. Tip number four, focus on keeping the lines of communication open with your child. Listen, empathise, and don't be judgmental. What they need now more than ever is your love and support. As you listen and leave space, they can begin to make sense of what's going on, and trust your work with them to find a better solution to help them cope in those tough moments. Tip number five, empathy and validation should be your go to strategies at first. Parents often don't know how to react when their child tells them something upsetting. Some parents want to erase it. Don't say that or problem solve on the spot. here's what we're going to do. But your best initial move is to empathise and validate. This is a science based tip. Emotions improve when we're with a loved one who validates and helps us name our experience. This might sound something like that's tough, it sounds really hard. Or it sounds like you've been feeling really low at night time. As emotions settle, you can problem solve together, but your initial response can go a long way to make their load that much lighter. Tip number six, work together on the problem with a plan. Once the lines of communication are open, trust has been built and a little time has passed, you can start to make a plan with them. It's useful to write a plan down. This is helpful in its own right to encourage your child to recognise sources of support and ways to stay safe. Print it out and it can become a go to resource in moments of crisis. Topics on this list could include things that help me get through the next 60 seconds. Give yourself a minute. Steps to make my situation safer. Things that help me feel calmer. People I can talk to my support team. Different children will need different things in order to cope with the feelings that sweep over them. Some young people like to write in a journal. Others need to hit a pillow. Some find meditation helps or distracting themselves with a hobby that they enjoy. Make a pact to revisit the plan and update with new ideas about what does and doesn't work. It's unlikely you're going to get it right the very first time. Tip number seven, seek professional advice. Self-harm requires a risk assessment and input from a mental health professional. When you first approach the GP, the more information you've collected and written down, the more effective the meeting will be. While you wait for professional support, try to keep the lines of communication open. And if you feel the risk is high, seek emergency support from your local emergency services. Look at our fact sheets for more information and where to go for help, as you will also find helplines you can ring for guidance. Finally, tip number nine, take it slowly. If you're concerned for your child's safety, please contact emergency services. For many young people, though, the best advice is to take it slowly. Nothing will improve overnight, but then knowing you're there for them is a fantastic and highly reassuring place to start. Thank you for taking the time to watch. For more information on self-harm and where to go for help, please look elsewhere on the Nip in the Bud website, www.nipinthebud.org.